相思成灾

推荐理由：台词精美到字字珠玑。


片 名：《相思成灾》 （Love and other disasters）
导 演：阿莱克•凯西西恩
主 演：布莱特妮•墨菲、圣地亚哥•卡布瑞、马修•瑞斯
出品时间：2007年
读 家：石头花园的歌女
推荐指数：四星半



来，让我们回忆一下，上世纪5、60年代的奥黛丽•赫本是什么样？
——
栗色头发，黑眼盖，睫毛深重好似蝴蝶翼，双腿修长，赤脚穿浅口平底鞋，露出巧倩细幼的足踝。

今次这部《相思成灾》里，布莱特妮•墨菲全盘拷贝这一造型，恰恰暗合近年时尚界六零年代风潮卷土重来的趋势，遗憾的是，没有了赫本清瘦的双颊跟尖俏的下巴，立刻俗气得不行。
所以说，精致不可以被模仿，只可以被造就。
其实客观点讲，墨菲不是没有可观之处，但是嘿，谁让她的原型是奥黛丽•赫本？

墨菲饰演的杰克丝，是英国《时尚》杂志的摄影助理，成日开复古风银灰Mini Cooper在伦敦四处乱闯，虽然神经大条，却懂得在违章停车之后，从自家包中掏出一张罚单夹在雨刮器上，看时不禁要失笑，这一招古灵精怪的“苦肉计”，在车位难找的北京城，倒也不失为一则妙着。
是典型现时代女子——与前任男友仍保持肉体关系，跟Gay男好友合租，热衷罗织周遭密友的花边事业，视婚姻为儿戏，整个人无厘头得很，但仍然，该死地，渴望爱情。

你看，她仍然会在星期日午后不知第多少遍观赏《蒂凡尼早餐》，每每《月亮河》音乐渐入，杰克丝面孔便松弛下来，卸去一身无爱不摧的盔甲，她脸上有一种表情几乎称得上是温柔。
而窗外泰晤士河静静流淌，摩天轮屹立城市一角，缓缓旋动。陈奕迅那首《幸福摩天轮》怎么唱的？——天荒地老流连在摩天轮，在高处凝望世界流动，失落之处仍然会笑着哭，人间的跌宕默默迎送。真是好歌，需带着爱意来唱。

那么到底何为真爱？
它是一道闪电么？是否遇到真爱的人都会如晴天霹雳，五雷轰顶？并且爱过之后留下明明暗暗的残疾与伤口，如同原子弹爆炸后的广岛和长崎？
或者真爱可能仅仅是一个阴谋，一个资本主义的阴谋，一个由电影业、出版业和音乐界联合编造的谎言，整件事情，这个概念其实从来就没有存在过？

整部电影拍得十足机智，其中几番乱点鸳鸯谱真真要把人笑翻在当场。
其中有一个桥段，心理学家将恋情比喻为放屁，简直又猥琐又精准。
而当杰克丝不无神往地说起，“也许有天早晨起来，我会觉得我恋爱了，你知道，兴奋、眩晕，还有点恶心”，她的Gay男好友彼得立即泼之以冷水，“不，那不是恋爱，那是流感。”

当然，电影到底是电影，再无厘头的不靠谱女青年到最后也一样会有为她度身订制的完美男士为伴
——
拉丁血统，黑发，深暗的黑眼睛，豹一般漂亮的身型，真诚，善良，有才华。
他甚至会跳探戈！
那段探戈不过才只有一分钟，但其热辣缠绵直叫人想起同样以探戈舞段著称的《真实的谎言》以及《闻香识女人》。
啧啧啧，电光幻影，每秒钟二十四格的幻觉。

还是说回到奥黛丽•赫本。
其实不可追想的，纽约第五大道上，那个穿着优雅小黑裙一边啃面包一边在蒂凡尼橱窗前流连不去的女子早已消失于时间，而这个形象固然不可磨灭，却也不可复制——造成她的那个时代已经彻底过去了。
我们的时代偏爱沙哑的性感，恰到好处的粗糙和似是而非的甜美，一切与赫本的时代是那么不同，但爱情，爱情是我们永恒的软肋，四海列国千秋万载，莫不如是。

来吧，向奥黛丽•赫本致敬，如果不能以与她同等的美貌，那至少，以爱情。




2007-11-17

Maybe true love is a decision, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody without worrying whether they’ll give anything back or if they’re gonna hurt you or if they really are the one.Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose.We should find out that true love is an event, not a process.

我完全记不清自己看了多少遍了,总之就是很多很多很多遍,特别是下雨天.
这台词经典的 不整理下来我都觉得对不起这片子

James: Almost noon.
Jacks: I'm afraid you've got to go.
James: Excuse me?
Jacks: You've got to go. I have friends coming over for brunch.
James: What? In my apartment?
Jacks: Sorry.
James: 3 years and you still treat me like a one-night stand!

Jacks: You're never going to find anyone with that attitude.
Peter: What attitude? I'm just being realistic.
Jacks: If you're realistic, then I'm the Queen of England.
Peter: Hey! I'm the Queen of England!
Jacks: Hello, your Majesty!

Peter: He's in love with you, Jacks. You're not in love with him. It doesn't get more simple than that.
Jacks: That's not fair! I happen to care about James. A lot. And I hate the fact that he feels more than me. And I hate the fact that I'm not in love with him. Because I know I should be. Because he's smart and sweet and decent and I don't want to hurt him. So I keep hoping that I'll grow into it. That maybe one day I'll wake up and I'll feel...
Peter: What?
Jacks: In love! You know, dizzy and feverish and nauseous...
Peter: That's not love, Jacks. That's the flu.

Peter: Talullah! What's wrong?
Taulullah: Freedom's having an affair.
Peter: An affair? You've only been going out for 2 weeks!
Taulullah:Who's he having an affair with?
Peter: Me, I just found out he's married.

Klaus: So, you're Felicity's daughter?
Taulullah: Only by birth. So don't hold it against me.
Wentworth: Donatella! Excuse me.
Taulullah: Whoever designed those heels must really hate women.
Klaus: I designed those heels.
Taulullah: And thank goodness you did! Otherwise Mother's arse would be dusting the floor.

Taulluah: Oh, Peter, I feel so bad.
Peter: Come on, drink this.
Taulluah: No, I mean about you. Not getting to meet Robbie Williams(David Williams) because of me.
Peter: It's OK.

Peter: Have you ever thought this whole 'true love' thing might be a conspiracy?
Jacks: A conspiracy?
Peter: Yeah, a capitalist conspiracy. A lie concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music industries. All pushing this thing, this concept that doesn't even exist!
Jacks: True love doesn't exist?
Peter: Well, think about it. Where is it besides songs, books and films? I mean, who can honestly say 'I will always love you? '
Jacks: Whitney Houston?
Peter: Yeah, when she's high on crack. The point is, Everyone's miserable because they're looking for this nonexistent 'thing' or else they're miserable because they think they've settled for less.
Jacks: I'm not miserable. And I believe in true love.
Peter: Yeah, which is why you're still sleeping with your ex-boyfriend.

Shrink: And how long did that last?
Peter: What?
Shrink: The relationship in your head.
Peter: No. I mean, it's an ongoing problem. They only last in my head. For varying amounts of time.
Shrink: So you have a problem with monogamy?
Peter: No, no that. No, that's not my problem.
Shrink: Denial is not a river in Egypt! Not a river in Egypt. D'you see what I did there? Just that's a little therapist joke. Doesn't always work. OK, right. Paul?
Peter: Peter.
Shrink: Sorry?
Peter: Peter.
Shrink: Peter. Peter. Yes, it is. You're absolutely right. Peter. That's a good start. Well done you! I think I can help you.
Peter: You do?
Shrink: I do. I think you are stuck in that pre relationship moment of infatuation and you need to be reminded that a real relationship has many, many, many more stages.
Peter: Stages. I like that.
Shrink: Relationships are best measured by farting.
Peter: Excuse me?
Shrink:The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy 'ooh did you fart? ' followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. A period I like to call the 'fart honeymoon'. Where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world. But of course no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass, thereby signifying true love or else, it begins to annoy and disgust. Thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved. Do you see what I'm getting at? Peter? Peter?

Paolo: So tell me your secret.
Jacks: What secret?
Paolo: How an American can speak like a Spaniard and dance like an Argentinean.
Jacks: I'm not American.
Paolo: No?
Jacks: Well, not technically. I was born in England. My Father was English. My Mother was Spanish. I grew up with my Mother's family in America. After my parents died.
Paolo: How old were you when you moved to America?
Jacks: Five.
Paolo: I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry.
Jacks: It's not that. It's just I don't want to be one of those awful characters out of a movie that gushes out their past while the violins play. I mean I had a bad age five. I had a terrible age five, actually. But all in all, since then, my life's been pretty blessed.

Paolo: Are you OK here?
Peter: Oh my God! Oh God!
Paolo: You don't! I... I'm so sorry!
Peter:I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. I was just... I'm really embarrassed.
Paolo: No, no, no, listen, Peter. I really like you a lot, but...
Peter: But you don't like me in that way. Look, I know that speech. I use that speech because I actually wrote that speech...
Paolo: I'm not gay.
Peter: I didn't write that part!
Paolo: I'm straight.
Peter: Since when?
Paolo: I suppose I first noticed when I was around 8. I thought it was just a phase, you know, but eventually I had to accept the truth. I like women.

Wentworth: Well, he's good enough!
Jacks: Oh no! No, he's not good enough! Because, that man right there, the real David Williams actually exists! The real David Williams happens to be a living, breathing, on-the-market gay man!

Peter: I'm quite relieved, to be honest. At least it's over and done with. You OK?
Jacks: I'm fine. I was just up most of the night thinking...
Peter: About?
Jacks: Oh, love and other disasters.

Finlay: Are you OK?
Peter: That's him.
Finlay: Who?
Peter: That's the guy I bumped into at the Hotel!
Finlay: What?
Peter: Sorry. Excuse me, I just need to use the loo, actually. Finlay?
Finlay: Right! I'll just... Give you a hand!
Peter: I can't believe you said 'I'll give you a hand!'

Peter: Tom. Tom! It's time to get up.
Tom: What time is it?
Peter: Almost 9.
Tom: You gotta go.
Peter: Excuse me?
Tom: You gotta go. I've got some friends coming over for brunch.
Peter: Tom, you're in my apartment.

Peter:Because that way you know you can't really get hurt. Look, Paolo hasn't changed. He's still the same person. He's still the same person you know and believe in. And think is kind and smart and sweet and bloody sexy. The only thing that's changed is what might happen between you. And he can tango!

Jacks: An early departure? An early departure? What are the chances of that? If this was a movie, there wouldn't be an early departure.
Peter: If this was a movie, you'd be blonde!
Jacks: If this was a movie, you'd be famous!
Peter: That's the problem with life, it's nothing like the movies.

Jacks: Stop trying to cast your true love instead ofjust meeting him.
Peter: When I meet him, I'll know.
Jacks: I'm not so sure. Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice. Well, that's easy for you to say!
Peter: You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!
Jacks: That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life' but I've decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose.

Berstein: 'Love and Other Disasters.' Nice title. Catchy. But it'll never fit on the marquee. How aboutjust 'Love Disasters? '
Peter: What?
Berstein: Oh...I love that Jacks. She's got that British quirkiness audiences love. 'Hello, Babies! '
Peter: Yes, but technically she speaks with an American accent because she's grown up in America so...
Berstein: Nah, it's too complicated. Let's make her English. Perfect part for Gwyneth!
Peter: Gwyneth Paltrow?
Berstein: Finest English actress of her generation! Brainstorm! Orlando Bloom as the Mexican.
Peter: Paolo's Argentinean!
Berstein: And we'll cover the American angle with Drew and Cameron.
Peter: Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz? As who?
Berstein: Playing David and Tom.
Peter: I'm sorry, you want me to get rid of the gay story line?
Berstein: I don't want you to get rid of anything! I'm just saying instead of David and Tom, we have Daisy and Tina.
Peter: I...
Berstein: Also, you gotta fiddle with that ending. We need a bigger movie moment when Jacks finally connects with Paolo.
Peter: Yes, but... Sorry, the whole point is there is no big movie moment because they both discover that true love is a process not an event.
Berstein: You know, Peter. I get it. This script is like your baby, isn't it?
Peter: Well, yes, I suppose it is...
Berstein: I understand that. Believe me, I understand that. Come here. I want to give you some advice! You gotta kill your baby! You gotta fuckin' kill your baby!
Peter: Right. Thank you. Thank you.

Peter: It's just... I don't know. I just wanted to tell the truth and somewhere along the line it got mixed up with a bunch of lies.
Jacks: Nobody goes to the movies for truth except possibly the French!
Peter: The truth is way too complicated. And unsatisfying. And hard to believe.

反正不是也经常有人找关键台词么..~~

以剧本的方式开始，以剧本的方式结束。
黑色的屏幕，白色的文字，镜头拉远，画面淡出，全剧终。
非常非常非常好的一部电影，极其极其极其的喜欢。
对于每个人来讲都会有这么一类电影，看到的前五分钟就让你莫名的颤栗感，愉悦又恐惧。然后随着时间一秒秒溜走，镜头一格格闪过，你的心也越来越确定，这就是属于你的电影，契合你的想象，抚慰你的心灵，带给你一种只可意会不可言传的共鸣感……
所以如果有人问我，你最喜欢《相思成灾》的哪一点？
我会回答他，情节，音乐，演员，节奏……所有的一切，每一点。
真心诚意，坚贞不渝。
但是很明显我不能用这样的方法来介绍/评论/推荐一部电影，要达到以上目的我必须找一些更具实质意义的理由来证明自己喜欢的有理有据。
你看这就是矛盾的地方，为什么我们在向别人说明一件东西很好的时候必须找一个理由？当你喜欢一首歌一部电影一个帅哥或者一个小姑娘，你是否真的能够清醒的认识到原因是什么，或者那其实只是霎那间的一种感觉？尽管这种感觉很可能是你的潜意识集合了你人生所有的经验做出的判断，但它依然混沌不清，难以言述。
这就是这部电影给我的印象，缺乏完整轮廓的生活，无数由此及彼的细节，兴高采烈的解释着没有答案的问题，比如什么是爱情。
简单，轻松，甜蜜，风趣，荒诞不经，随心所欲，外加一点点疯狂。
一个只跟不爱的人上床，绝不和爱人上床的时尚杂志摄影助理，
一个在海滩被人发掘，言语羞涩的年轻摄影师，
一个相信瞬间就可以预感真爱的同性恋，
一个总是不停坠入爱河的富家女，
一个职业正当理想光明的居家男，
一个为纪念死去十五年的爱人，在艺廊举办动物尸体展览（未加防腐处理）的艺术家
……
无比可爱的组合，背景是终于不再阴雨连绵的伦敦城。
我由衷的喜爱和钦佩着本片的编剧和导演，他们都叫做Alex Keshishian。
Alex写出的这个剧本，找不出一点你没有见过的东西，可以说它俗套，模式化，缺乏新意，但却不得不承认它同时也文字流畅，情感到位，主题鲜明，经得起推敲，还有讨人喜欢的自嘲。
描写同一样事物并不可怕，描写的功力如何才是高下立分。
作者是真正熟悉他在写的东西，把握住了最精髓的部分，有一种无拘无束的姿态。影片采用的柔美色调，对经典这样那样的致敬，以及细节处的精雕细琢，加上亲切合理的笑料，睿智犀利的幽默对白，意识大胆的拍摄手法，我几乎是第一时间把它归入了自己用作分类他人的电影。
你喜欢它吗？
有多喜欢它？
喜欢它什么？
请原谅我就是这样一个俗套的人。
而俗套的人必将不能免俗的赞扬一下此剧的CAST。女主角是我喜欢的Brittany Murphy，作品包括《Just married》和《Sin city》，外型独立现代而声音沙哑甜嗲，我爱她影片中所有的衣服，全部所有。
男主角帅了很多，这是和他在《Heroes》中的那个画家造型相比，确实帅了也可爱了很多。
精灵王子Orlando Bloom和气质女Gwyneth Paltrow客串了大约二十秒的戏中戏镜头，包括一场吻戏。若事先毫不知情，这简直可称为恶搞到惊喜的玩笑，这片里的把戏着实天马行空。

直到此刻，我想我并没有把这部电影说清楚，可能我也根本不想把它说清楚，于是我只能用一段戏里的对话来结束此文：
Jacks： In love! You know, dizzy and feverish and nauseous...
            Peter： That's not love, Jacks. That's the flu.
Jacks: 坠入爱河，你知道的，眩晕，发热还有恶心…
Peter: 那不是爱，Jacks，那是流感。
看时是肆无忌惮的笑，看完是一个人安静的思考。

Maybe love is a decision, stop trying to cast you true love.and put all that fantacies in to you work of fiction
这几句话是留给我印象最深的几句,的确,很多人相信爱情,而这部电影从某种程度上给了那些一直把真正的爱情放在幻想中的人一个启示: to give yourself a chance to love somebody, to give somebody a chance to love you, Maybe your true love is there^_^

如果你是你会知道的。
记住，它是个巨人。你是个沉睡中的巨人。
你们认识才一个星期，别说得跟电影里的台词一样。
每天和前男友粘在一起不好，或许我可以把前男友变成现男友然后不用每天和他在一起了。
我看起来像奴隶么？
我不会坐进一辆比我的手提包还要便宜的车里面。
——他有外遇了
——你们才认识两个星期，他就有外遇了，她是谁？
——我，我刚刚发现，他结婚了。

——设计这些高跟鞋的人一定恨女人，谁设计的？
——我设计的。
——很不错，要不是这个设计，她就得用屁股走路。

——你到底哪里不对？
——基因！